Well, you know about the speed “bumps” (far too mild a noun to describe these mountainous cement speed deterrents placed every few meters) but I’m quite sure I haven’t given driving in Mexico enough air time, given that I spend an awful lot of my day in my van, in traffic.   Honestly, this daily activity might actually be the source and cause of my (imminent?) eventual breakdown.  I’ve even coined a new phrase (quite by accident and in a moment of driving crisis on a particularly insane roundabout) that the kids thought we should use to rename the “Holy Sugar-Honey-Iced-Tea” bar above the passenger seat window that we reach for a when a sense of (false) security is necessary…

“Halle-FREAKIN-what the hell????”  Let me explain the origins of this unique new phrase. You see, I was at first celebrating that I was able to wedge my car into the craziest roundabout at after-school pick-up rush hour – (would love to pick the brain of the City Planner (I’m assuming a lot here) who thought it would be a good idea to build all schools in Santa Fe on the same street… cause you know (again, assuming a lot) that typically all schools start and end at the same time each day…) – which is where my attempt to break out into the “Hallelujah Chorus” came from… and was abruptly interrupted, when a car four lanes over (I emphasize,  in the far LEFT lane) decides he needs to turn RIGHT…. RIGHT now... in front of our van… hence “FREAKIN'” (and I’m proud of myself for cleaning that expletive up in spite of the circumstances)… and “what the hell???” quickly followed as 10 impatient horns were laid-on because I had the nerve to stop and swerve to avoid said idiot driver who nearly plowed into the side of my van… I know, they were merely looking out for their own vehicles that mine was suddenly, quickly heading towards… and repeat, twice daily, five days a week… this is a tiny taste of the reality of driving here.  We are always actively in defensive-driving mode.  My new phrase is enjoying quite a run… Feel free to try it sometime!

Took me an HOUR just to get to the school yesterday… Took me THREE hours to drive to the school, pick up the kids and drive back last Friday… that’s all I did… for three hours… tense, on edge, heart pounding … I’m not so sure I’m “cut out” to live and operate in such a big city… I’m not sure I’m ever going to “get” how it works here, or even (desperately far from my current grasp) appreciate it?

I actually was clipped by this bus as it passed…only a couple of inches between us… We were so tightly packed in on this, the only road to the school, for after school pick up… Thankfully my mirror was just nudged and it folded in – a necessary invention that I had never really appreciated before doing this high density driving.   I’ve noticed that many drivers here pop their mirrors in to creep through impossibly tight traffic.

I think I’m learning a lot about myself driving here… And I know the kids are definitely seeing a different side of their mother.  They will often report at dinner to Daddy how “funny” Mommy was on the drive home… I’m not sure how to respond to the fact that they find my stress so funny… I suppose it is “nervous laughter” funny… like “what is happening to Mom” funny?  I’m working on responding less like I’m in a bad Nascar nightmare and trying to be more Zen… Breathing lots…(incidentally, you can unleash a long string of “Halle-FREAKIN-what-the hells” on one good, deep breath!!! )       I guess that could be uncomfortably funny when you’re not used to seeing your mother respond in that way in any other aspect of her life… driving here brings out the worst in me…mostly because I’m so motivated to keep my precious cargo alive!!   I have the skills to drive here, but it is simply a means to an end… I do not enjoy any part of it… And I feel I need to stress that it’s not simply reacting to and trying to anticipate any crazy move from the other drivers around me… it is worry about stopping at intersections even… I always pray that I will be spit out in an intersection around the middle of the pack so that way I can avoid the many vendors and panhandlers who approach your window once you’re stopped and can’t go anywhere.  We were actually given the good advice to be sure to stop well back from the intersection if we find ourselves at the front – that way we have some room to move if we are being harassed and need to make it stop… this week the need to keep windows up and doors locked and always be vigilant was once again emphasized to avoid becoming victim to people who try the doors of the cars stopped to see if they open.  They are going right into people’s cars!  (and I imagine demanding money…) A Mom from our school waiting in traffic snapped these pics on Monday…

Parking.  I cringe just saying the word… just thinking about it… A new parking system at school was on trial at the very beginning of the month… one day I arrived to pick up the kids and was funneled down three levels into the parking garage…I missed the bulletin explaining the change, so was a little surprised and definitely anxious…  I have a complicated relationship with parking garages here… in fact, I redecorated the right side of the van when attempting to turn around a large black and yellow cement median once in a parking garage… Aaron didn’t think it an improvement, but honestly I’m sure subconsciously I was trying to help the van “blend” in here… it would seem conspicuous to have a vehicle without some in-the-field flaws… anyhow, I’ll be damned if I could find a spot where I could fit my boat of a van… four painful attempts later, I was in tears, but I was parked, and for that entire week I was a mess by the time I finally got parked… I’m happy to say the trial was unsuccessful and we no longer have to park underground… I imagine that the school security detail, who spoke with me a lot that week to request that I “fix” my parking jobs,  likely got tired of watching me fall apart everyday…   🙂

It’s one thing to find a spot… but can you fit in it?  And do you bother worrying about whether or not you’ll fit in it… or do you just flip your mirror in, tickled once again by that handy hinge invention that makes it possible to fit a car where no car has ever fit before… but then what of the other driver?  Do you actually take the time to consider if the driver you’ve penned in can actually successfully get out of the car once you’ve finished parking? And do you listen when said driver (me) attempts to reason with unreasonable woman who needs to park now that she (me) will not be able to get out on either side of the vehicle if you park beside her (me), as only a very few inches exist between her car and the one on the other side…but you (unreasonable woman who needs to park now) got your car parked and that seems to be all that matters…

OH, okay… I get it now… every driver, every person for him or herself here…

I’ve had the opportunity to crawl across my center console to the passenger side door to exit my vehicle a number of times now…

I’m actually getting pretty good at it!