Went to a “Newcomer’s Club” meeting last week. I know I’ve nearly been here 5 months, but I still very much feel like a “newcomer”. And I met others who have been here since August and still consider themselves “newcomers”. I realized that it IS actually very difficult to get used to living here. I realized that I am not alone in the frustration and confusion felt. In some weird way it felt good to know I’m not the only miserable foreigner here! Lol!    🙂 Maybe miserable is too strong, but I definitely have my days… I had decided before going that I was going to be “real” about how I was feeling to try to flush out some hard-lived, hard-won advice to maybe help me approach things differently, ideas that might make life here a little easier. I was amazed by how candid many people were – many of them had been on previous expat assignments so were obviously more seasoned than me, and when they compared their time in other countries to MX, they all seemed to agree that Mexico City is it’s own unique beast. They all spoke of the “expat compounds” in other countries (ie: Tanzania) being very nice and easy to live in. Insta-community! Acknowledgement that it’s a lot harder to build community here simply because everyone is so spread out – very few designated expat communities, if any – was a repeated sentiment and as such you have to really “put yourself out there”, they say, in order to find friends and build community. For the record, that is so crazy difficult when you’re trying to simply survive the routine of a day. It’s one-day-at-a-time. But a friend we met who grew up here gave us this advice, when we were first thinking about coming here at all, “If asked (ie: to a party), Go!” We have taken her advice to heart and whenever we are invited, we go.  A connection at the meeting led to a party invitation for the weekend – so we will go, once again hoping to meet some like-minded people (we are living in a sort of ‘bubble world’ and trying not to take ourselves too seriously, nor to get too used to this… you never know how (quickly) the situation can change… we figure (hope!) that there must be people who think similarly out there somewhere…). And from going to that one meeting, three hours out of my life, I gained a few new contacts and that coveted party invitation – such an opportunity!  (fast forward to a few days after newcomers meeting, a great party attended and a new acquaintance gained in my own residential complex who may be able to help me secure some help to care for my house, a very common practice here that I’m s-l-o-w-l-y getting my head around!)  I’m so glad that I chose the “honesty” route in how I’m really “adjusting” to this, as it allowed others to safely come out of the woodwork and share their own struggles around adjusting to expat life, especially as the “supporting spouse”.  The other common thread, was that most of these women have found “something to do”. I need and desperately crave something to do outside of the children’s school routine. I am thinking of applying to a Master’s Degree program that I’ve had my eye on for a while now… That would keep me busy! I’m doing what I can at the school, but volunteerism for parents is not common… we are given other opportunities to contribute (mostly financially through donations) to school life, but helping out in the classroom unfortunately hasn’t been an option.  We will join a gym for family extra-curricular activities come September and we already have wonderful musical people in our lives and a fantastic Spanish tutor… it’s coming…

Was so nice to be in a room full of people who speak English… a welcome break from having to pre-think every conversation to be sure I’ve looked up the correct phrase on google translate, and no blank stares as I stammer through what I believe are Spanish words… I think a lot of the time I actually have the right word, but my mouth still makes the letter sounds in my Canadian English way. So to them, I likely sound like I have a very strong accent and their ears, attuned to Spanish pronunciation just don’t recognize the Spanish words I’m saying with my “english” accent. It’s at once fascinating to realize what is happening, and frustrating because it’s difficult to get your ideas across. I remember when we first arrived not understanding a Subway employee at the airport who was serving us and who was actually speaking English. He was speaking English with Spanish pronunciation and I was lost… Thankfully I now have a Spanish tutor who is just awesome and she has been so helpful in her attention to dialect detail, so I’m learning about the absolute correct pronunciation of Mexican Spanish.   :).  Every Latino country speaks it just a little bit differently, by the way!  Our music teacher made an observation the other week when he was here for lessons about what he believes the key enunciation difference between English and Spanish is… This idea has been foremost in his mind lately, he said, as he’s teaching his wife and her parents to speak English… When speaking Spanish, the brunt of the work of the mouth, teeth and tongue to form the words, happens at the very front of the mouth. Some of the letters actually require a sort of “lisp” in order to correctly pronounce, your tongue sometimes working beyond the teeth, not directly behind them to aid in consonant formation, as in English. “English words,” he notes, “ are mostly formed at the back of the mouth, towards the throat.”  I thought about it and played around with letter sounds and words in both languages and realized that he’s right… and that realization is really helping me develop my Spanish pronunciation – imagery helps me a lot and I think more now about the placement of my tongue towards the front of my mouth to make Spanish letter sounds and words… so interesting!!

At this final meeting of the Newcomer’s season, loose ends were tied up, thank-you’s delivered, new board members introduced and ideas for next year outlined. This was an exploratory visit for me – I have not yet become a “member” – and I was trying to get a sense about if this is the group for me… I was impressed by their charity work with a local orphanage for girls, and meal help for poor elderly people (any interested volunteers spend the third Monday of every month preparing and serving a meal for 150 impoverished seniors from a local rural community at a nearby church – I’m planning to attend to help out in June). It seems like there are many activities available to sign-up to participate in. I signed up for a Mexican cooking class with a local chef, which I’m very excited about – I hope it happens before I head home for summer! Members volunteer to offer tours of various attractions in the city, and host coffee houses for newbies just arriving in Mexico, among other activities. New family friendly activities for next year were hinted at, which certainly interests me. I won the pretty and clever centrepiece on our table in a draw, which was fun! (it was a giant margarita “glass”(vase) layered with salt, limes and topped off with pink and white flower bunches!)  Met a few lovely people and exchanged contact information. Overall, a very positive experience, and I may find myself back again in September.

Putting myself out there was sort of the last thing I wanted to do, but I’m glad that I did.